Junk Emails – Joyous Occasion Or Trap?

Posted: August 24, 2011 in Previous Rants

I used to check them everyday, it quickly became a chore and I soon realised there wasn’t much point; I was always getting the same things if any at all. I only check my emails once a week now, unless I’m waiting for something important. I don’t want it to become an obsession, I know a few people who sit on the same internet pages and refresh them every few minutes desperately hoping for some new piece of “vital” news or information to pop up.

I like to think I’m nowhere near as bad, though I’d have to admit I do check through my junk email folder just to make sure nothing legitimate has been incorrectly categorised, more than once my email security has been a little over eager and blocked emails from friends, family and prospective employers. I go through the motions of scrolling through the all-too-obvious junk mail offering free healthcare, better mortgage deals, cheap drugs and dating sites. I skim read the email subject and delete with a smile, nice try spammers, you’re not getting me!

I know if I was to open an email claiming anything is “Important” from an unknown sender, or with a stupid subject title I’d might aswell open my computer to every known computer virus and give away my bank details. How stupid would I have to be?

Most emails are the same – they have the same approach: “buy this” or “subscribe to this”, “find out if you can claim” – all too obvious “give us your money and details tactics” – the two most recent emails I received somehow managed to bypass the email security and make it through to my Inbox – they are a little more subtle but still flawed. I’m quite tempted to reply to these emails with the following:

“Nice try. I do not have a  bank account with that provider nor have I had any “recent payments” – I’m sure you spent ages trying to make the information and layout look accurate – and for that I congratulate you – but it’s time wasted. I’m still not fooled! It was a terrible introduction anyway… “Dear (insert [correct] name)” would’ve worked better than “Dear (insert [copied] email address)”. I noticed a distinct lack of contact details provided in the email and I can see your IP address is nowhere near ANY of the vague addresses you provided…

Better luck next time.”

The other was also fairly straightforward:

“I’ll admit you’ve a nice tactic of avoiding the introduction, there’s slightly better wording though you have used the obvious tactic of making me worry about my apparent “Security issues” – I’ll have you know I HAVE scanned my computer for viruses and I did NOT provide any email addresses to my bank providers – nor do I actually have “Online banking”. Oh, and I do still have full access to my account thank-you-very-much. Your hyperlinks are probably fake so forgive me for not clicking them and be directed through to a copied webpage.

Delete and Block… – Nice try.”

On second thoughts, I’ll not reply… – Who knows what’ll happen next. Good luck avoiding the spammers!

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Comments
  1. Looks fairly legit to me, but I suppose that’s what they’re aiming for! At the end of the day, if I got an email like that, I would open a separate window and type my bank’s URL in manually, just to be sure!

    I wouldn’t bother replying, they won’t care that they’ve not got you. They probably work on a percentage anyway (imagine it’s like a sales environment – some will, some won’t), so you’re just one of the people out of whom they won’t get any money.

  2. Kurlykurt says:

    Yes, that’s EXACTLY what they want you to think! – I know that every bank related email I receive is a complete lie – (unless they somehow managed to correctly guess my email address…?) – It’s a good method you’ve got to double check – though most of the time the internet banking sites are just as confusing and vague… – Their site may be secure – but it’s only a matter of time before there’s a virus complex enough… – I’ll stick to the good old fashioned way!

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