Archive for July 4, 2011

An Almost Phobia…

Posted: July 4, 2011 in Previous Rants

They’re everywhere and now they’ve started to follow me. It started a while ago – it was a nice day, I decided to browse the shops with my friend and eventually purchased a big packet of cookies. I’d forgotten just how quickly they appeared when food was involved and before I knew it, I was surrounded by almost a hundred pigeons.

I knew that even the slightest move would result in a horrific accident, I had to remain totally still. I was in over my head, I had just run out of food and what originally started out as a harmless bit of fun soon had me mobbed. It seemed I wasn’t the only one surprised by the sudden increase of pigeons; a small child deemed this moment, of all moments, the perfect opportunity to run at them, screaming wildly – arms flailing for maximum disruption.

There wasn’t much I could do, they were aiming for me and I was stranded amongst them. I did what anyone would do; panic and hope for the best. Though I tried closing my eyes, I found it infinitely worse not knowing what was happening and was forced to endure the low flying creatures with my eyes open. It was horrific.

I know now they still want revenge – I would hate it too if I was frightened half to death whilst eating, I’d probably choke, panic and then choke some more… I suppose I can’t blame them, though their hatred is misplaced, the child was nowhere to be seen, and so the blame lay on me. After all it was my fault they were all there, gathered together in one place fighting over my offered cookies. Since that incident I haven’t liked them very much and try to avoid them whenever possible.

Everywhere I go, I’m followed by a beady, unblinking stare, sometimes I’m approached by one and hear a “coo” “coo” – a reminder that they haven’t forgotten. They’ve set up camp near my house now and they’re waiting to strike – I should probably carry some cookies and an umbrella and hope this time things’ll go a little better…